KRIEG (War) Read online

  We stretched out next to each other. The blanket stretched only over half my body.

  The wounded moaned. Someone yawned as if he could not stop.

  Cree! Cree! Called the bird.

  The lieutenant breathed uneasily. What was wrong with him?

  Cree! Cree! Called the bird.

  I had seen someone a while ago; he lay very peacefully on a stretcher and looked at the stars just like Sander had done back in the foundry. What ever happened to Sander?

  The lieutenant breathed in his sleep. Maybe he was like a child that had seen too much.

  Cree! Cree! Came the call from the tree.

  I saw the eyes again staring peacefully at the stars. How long is this going to continue?

  ——————————

  It was quite cool and damp. The sun peeked with its upper edge over a distant bank of clouds. It was very still. The lieutenant was still asleep beside me. So I remained lying and saw into the tree, between whose foliage the sky appeared thin and blue.

  I felt cold, but didn’t shiver.

  Around us they began to get up and stretch and then began to get their blankets and groundsheets together.

  I crept from under our shared blanket. My hands were still brown from the blood of the French officer. That was, I thought, a week ago. I had not washed since then.

  The aid station lay peaceful. Cut-off blouses, a bare leg. The man on the stretcher saw with dead eyes into the sky.

  At the field kitchen the cooks were already standing around again in their shirt sleeves. Probably, they had already been working for a long time. One of them didn’t have a shirt sleeve on his right arm, with which he used a dipper to scoop coffee into the held-out field kettles. White smoke rose from the large, open kettle.

  By us on the street troops marched forward and disappeared into the woods. Was the Frenchman still sitting by the fire?

  The lieutenant came to the kitchen in his coat. He appeared pale and had lines of dirt on his face. I wanted to give him more bread, but he pushed it away with an awkward movement of his hand. Then the kitchen NCO took the bread out of my hand, spread lard on it, and reached it out to Fabian.

  “From where did you get lard?” he asked.

  “Why am I the kitchen NCO, Herr Leutnant?”

  “We have dug a hole for the dead,” said Ernst. “Will the Herr Leutnant say a few words over the grave?”

  Fabian turned away: “I can’t do it.”

  I suddenly felt tired and miserable. The sun had just begun to shine warmly.

  A few steps to the side stood a haystack. I made a hole and laid down in it so that just my legs stuck out.

  ——————————

  I was awakened by a discussion going on right next to me.

  “Stretcher-bearer Weiss!” said Fabian. “Last night your platoon leader reported to me that you were absent from the attack.”

  I stood up quickly in order to walk away.

  “Stay here, Renn! I prefer it if a witness is present at this proceeding—Did you receive the order from Feldwebel Ernst to follow the platoon?”

  I didn’t want to look him in the face, but I saw his legs trembling.

  “Yes, Herr Leutnant.”

  “Why then?”

  He didn’t answer, just trembled.

  “Was it because of fear?”

  “Yes, Herr Leutnant.”

  Fabian was silent. “You are honest,” he said finally, “I can’t make a decision at this time. Wait by the tree!”

  Weiss moved away slowly. His arms hung down so lifeless.

  The lieutenant lay back on the straw.

  I moved a little ways to the side and watched the marching of the troops. I had a terrible fear for Weiss and also for the lieutenant. If he was suddenly seized by fury and—no, he had been very calm, but—that was the uncanny thing about it—one never knew what he was thinking.

  Should I continue to stay there? But if I walked away and the lieutenant became irritated and took it out on the wretched Weiss—? My thoughts wandered and kept coming painfully back to the same place. And there things didn’t agree. Could I not do something?

  “Renn?”

  I walked back and stood with great fear before him.

  “Go to Weiss,” he looked at me without any feeling, “and bring him here!” He lay back down again. In so doing I saw his depth of feeling and that gave me some hope.

  Weiss walked around the tree in the scattered straw and stared at me with an empty look.

  I just motioned with my head. He followed me.

  Ah! That was the wrong thing again! Now he thinks I despise him because I didn’t speak to him. I want to tell him—no, I have nothing to say to him.

  We came to the haystack. I didn’t know where I should stand so I just remained standing by him.

  The lieutenant remained sitting and looked at him sharply. “Stretcher bearer Weiss! You know that I am supposed to make an incident report against you for cowardice before the enemy. You would be placed before a court martial and tried for your life—I make myself punishable if I don’t send in a report. In spite of that I am not going to do it for the time being. It is against my will to place you before a court martial when it is possible that we may go into combat again today. I can only go into combat with completely free people, not with half prisoners. Despite my assigned duties I value you as a person and have such confidence in you that I say to you: as far as I am concerned, the incident never happened. It is your affair to take care of so that your comrades forget it—now go!”

  Weiss did an about face and walked away with bowed head. He still trembled as he went.

  “Renn, sit down here!”

  I sat down beside him. However, he said nothing further; instead he lay on his side with his back to me as if he wanted to sleep.

  He must have made his decision while he was speaking; because he said for the time being he wouldn’t send in a report and then he had crossed out everything that had happened.

  He lay like that for a long time. I became more and more aware of his position and was very anxious. What was he hatching?

  He sat up. “I have taken you as a witness. I don’t want anything about Weiss to be spoken of in the company. It is crippling for a person when others spurn him—It is more terrible for a good person to label him a coward for the rest of his life as to shoot him dead!”

  We marched off into the woods. The fire on the strip of meadow still glowed. But the Frenchman was gone.

  Further along the way lay many dead, very close together; included was a French officer.

  Around six o’clock in the evening we met up with our baggage column, which had halted to the right up on a hill.

  “Have you got bread?”

  “More than enough to make you burst!”

  “There is the canteen proprietor!—Do you have cigarettes?”

  We were led into a large barn, ate, and were very comfortable.

  Rest Day

  The next morning as we were getting coffee the Company Sergeant called out, “We’re staying here today!”

  “Let’s go swimming!” said Ziesche. “There’s a canal behind our farm.”

  We went straight there, undressed, lay our things in the sun, and sprang in the water. The canal was deep and flowed slowly. We swam here and there, splashed and squirted ourselves. A couple of people were chasing each other on the meadow.

  Then we assembled for pay. Everyone appeared fresh and content. There was much money, because there had been no opportunity for pay since the beginning of the battles.

  As we were dismissed everybody stormed the canteen proprietor, who had halted at our farm. Soon the only thing left was writing paper and boot polish.

  The military mail car was located at the next farm. I lay in the straw and wrote a letter to my mother.

  In the afternoon we moved to a large meadow outside of the place and formed into a large square for a military church service. The officers stood at the front.
The pastor rode up in a long, gray coat with a slouched military hat. Hanging on his chest was a silver cross on a silver chain. He dismounted from his horse and stood in the middle.

  “When the Lord releases the captives of Zion, then we will be as those who dream dreams. Dear comrades, are we not the captives? Are we not captives of fear and terror and the fear of death? We have seen death all around us in a thousand forms daily. And are we not engrossed with the impressions?—If however, the Lord will release us captives, then we will be as those who dream dreams.—Think back just ten minutes: then you were still captives. Now, however, you have turned yourselves from the terrors to God. And now is it not as if you are dreaming that such a thing exists? And does it not appear to you that you have until this moment dreamed and now at the threshold of God, life begins?”

  Is that really so?

  I saw doves fly up from a roof and the sun gleam on their wings. A small dog came walking into the middle of the square and sniffed at the preacher’s galoshes.

  Later in the day I sat with Ziesche in the straw. Everyone was gossiping and I gossiped with them. However, that was only on the outside. Inside me was a hope that a realm could exist that was of the dreams of my youth, only stronger. And in that realm there were no battles and field kitchens. And there was also no war, which is so terrible, instead—yes, what? I sensed something of it, but in the closeness of my thoughts it didn’t come.

  We lay down to sleep. The lieutenant was happy.

  Battle of the Marne

  Brown areas. The street ran straight and treeless into the dust clouds of the marching columns.

  We halted. I lay down on my pack in the flat ditch along the street. How thick my hands were.

  “Up!”

  Everything spun around me. In the sun the fields had become even gloomier.—On the march one should not sleep in the sun!—My legs were clumps. If the street would just go around a corner!

  Finally, a house. In front a troop of soldiers crowded around a water bucket. One of them had come up with a cup and put it to use. He received a shove and poured the water into his open coat.

  A woman brought a new bucket out of the house. A crowd stormed it. The woman was terrified, set the bucket down and went back in the house. The man in front bent over. They crowded him from behind. He kicked the bucket over and almost fell. The water flowed glittering on the street.

  Finally the street curved to the right into a village. There we halted. Also the lieutenant had no idea if things would continue further.

  Hartmann went with several others into a garden and sat shaking the limbs in a pear tree. We had run out of bread again. A number of men were squatting next to a wall; almost all of them had diarrhea. In the street a number of men were lying in the shade of the houses and slept.

  A battalion runner came along: “We are continuing!”

  They picked themselves up ponderously. Those still shaking pears appeared suddenly tired.

  “How far is it still, Herr Leutnant?” asked Ernst.

  “I haven’t found the place yet.” He searched on the map. “There!” He showed it to Ernst, who looked exhausted.

  “Herr Leutnant, we can’t move the people that distance still.”

  “Be quiet! We have to try. We’re marching at the head of the main column. We’ll be able to march with a steady stride.”

  “Renn, you place the contact people between the first company and us!”

  The first company marched off. After one minute I let the first two contact people go, after another minute the second, then the third, I myself went with the fourth. The company followed me at an interval.

  We marched in a flat depression. The sun went down. Shadows grew from the right across the flats. It became dark. I could not constantly see the next contact group. Only once in a while I could see a movement.

  A village came and passed by. Irregular patches of woods lay on both sides of the street.

  Behind us I heard, “Company halt!”

  “They’re halting behind us!” I called forward and listened. I couldn’t hear if they passed the call along. “Come with me, Hartmann! We appear to have lost contact and have to spread ourselves out.”

  I placed him a piece further to the front and continued on as quickly as I could. There they were.

  “They’re halting behind us!” I yelled.

  One of them called further: “They’re halting behind us!” but tired and softly; there was still no answer from ahead.

  “Do you still have contact?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” said the one.

  “You’re supposed to know that!” I screamed at him. “If you can’t keep contact, then I’ll have to do it alone!”

  I ran farther. How should I get there if it is everywhere like this?

  I ran, began walking and then continued running. My pack bounced on my back. I became ever more furious and confused.

  Suddenly I saw two people sitting on the side of the road.

  “What’s going on here?” I screamed.

  “There is a halt,” said Ziesche quietly.

  “Did you pass the call along?”

  “Yes, they’re halting up forward also.”

  I sat down with them. My heart pounded wildly.

  “How far is it still?” asked Ziesche.

  “I don’t know!” I said excitedly without intending to.

  After a while I heard steps from behind us. There was again a call that the march would continue.

  Again we came to a village and passed on by. The ground was sandy. Patches of woods accompanied us. Then it changed to barren spruce forest on both sides. It was very quiet.

  Suddenly, there lay a man on the right side of the road—That is bad if they are already falling out at night! A little ways farther lay two more.

  The woods curved back to the left. It was getting lighter. There before us were the next two men.

  The road curved to the left and down into a village. Is this the one? We continued through the village.

  The two ahead of us slowed down and we quickly drew closer to them. I walked ahead in order to speed them up. However, they were people from the first company who couldn’t keep up. Ahead of them were three more. How was it possible to keep contact at all? On the side of the road lay another five or six. And all were just from one company!

  Again houses ahead of us. It was a stretched out village. And we passed on through.

  I stopped. Were some of my people among those who had fallen out? I stood still. No one came. Finally Hartmann alone, the whole file ahead of him were missing.

  “Where is the other man?”

  “He couldn’t continue any longer.”

  “Have you got contact with the company?”

  “No, I haven’t heard them for a long time now. However, I just couldn’t stand still.”

  I was shocked. If they had gone the wrong way at one of the forks in the road?—I walked with Hartmann and thought about it. To the front the space was too great, but also to the rear. Even if I placed myself in as the contact man it was not possible to establish the chain again. And should I remain behind? If the company had gone the wrong way that would be of no use either. It became hard for me to think. My brain was hot and dull.

  Ahead of us houses stood out gray on the gray plain. That must be our goal!

  The village was small. The march continued out the other side. Some of those unable to keep up staggered ahead of us.

  After a short time we heard voices ahead of us. Again houses appeared. The first company halted there.

  I halted and watched to see if our battalion would appear. A couple of stragglers came poking along.

  There was a broad noise of many boots. Riders appeared; it was the battalion.

  We were directed to a barn. The men fell into it. I spread my ground cloth out at the front by the entrance. One man came staggering in and laid down on it.

  “Get up from there! This is for the lieutenant.” He mumbled something and
remained lying.

  “The lieutenant can’t sleep outside! You have to have a little bit of understanding.”

  “There isn’t any room here,” he muttered, but slid over to the side.

  “Who’s in here?” asked someone through the door. “Third company, Herr Hauptmann,” I said. It was the leader of the second company, who was very uncouth.

  “This barn belongs to us!” he called. “You have no business in here!”

  “Excuse me, Herr Hauptmann, but the barn was assigned to us by the Battalion adjutant.”

  “No, the barn is for us! You have to get out!”

  Our people began to grumble: “We are not leaving!” Then our lieutenant arrived. “This farm building is assigned to me, Herr Hauptmann.”

  “No!” he bellowed.

  “I am not getting out until the battalion orders it!” said Fabian soft and sharp.

  “Then you’ll be driven out!” stormed the Captain.

  “We’re not getting out!” They prepared to defend themselves.

  “Then we’ll throw you out,” called someone in the second company and moved closer to the barn door.

  “I’ve been looking for the Herr Hauptmann the whole time!” called the voice of the adjutant.

  “I can’t keep searching fruitlessly for you if you are in the wrong farm yard!”

  The second company moved off. The Captain continued complaining.

  “That was unworthy of an officer to start such a quarrel,” said Ziesche.

  “His own people can’t even put up with him.”

  “Quiet!” said Fabian. “If we had been standing in front of the barn we would have become furious also. After such a march you can’t take things so seriously.”

  The lieutenant lay down and I lay next to him and covered him up. His whole body trembled.

  “Sir, you don’t need to have any fear. We will take care of you, sir.”

  He immediately stopped trembling. I wondered that I had dared to say such a thing to him. He lay still like an obedient child. Suddenly he began trembling again, but only for a short time.

  ——————————

  “Chow!” called the kitchen NCO from outside. A couple of people got up. I went back to sleep.