KRIEG (War) Page 9

  “Renn?—Thank God, I am somewhat better.” I helped him stand up and climb up to the street.

  “I wanted to go to the hospital. But it is to be surrendered to the French. Here I couldn’t go any further.”

  Ahead of us they marched off again. We had to assemble. I had the lieutenant around the waist. If I left him he would end up in captivity. He was very large and heavy and couldn’t go as fast as the troops. I had to pull him along. Soon I was sweating and my right arm, with which I pushed forward, was already numb. How should I do it otherwise?

  “Just let me lie,” he said softly. “I am so dizzy I can’t move so fast anymore.”

  “No way!” said Ernst. “Renn and I will bring the Herr Leutnant to a billet.”

  He grasped the lieutenant on the right side. He was very powerful and had neither pack nor rifle. Still it became increasingly harder to move the lieutenant forward. Once in a while there was a sound from him that was terrible. Sweat was already dripping from the tip of my nose.

  “The field kitchen is here,” Hartmann said all of a sudden.

  We pulled the lieutenant out of the column. The company sergeant helped him onto the coach box with the coachman.

  We attempted to catch up with the company. I bumped into a construction barrier with my breast and head and reeled on. My mental images became confused with the running.

  The day began to grow light.

  We had not eaten anything since night before last.

  As I came to the front, the company halted at the farm yard where we had the argument with the captain of the second company.

  Lieutenant von Boehm gave the orders for the billeting. Was he in command of the company now? He helped Fabian down from the field kitchen and led him into the house. Eckold carried his meal inside.

  “That is a completely different kind of company commander,” said Ziesche.

  “Where do you have your sleeve?” I asked Weiss, who stood at the field kitchen, white as chalk and dirty, spooning his food.

  “It got away from me.” Some kind of fear was in his eyes, but not one from the shooting.

  “Do you not want to go to the doctor?”

  He shook his head.

  “You have to help me to stay with the gang.”

  Did he still want to show that he was not a coward?

  “In that case you have to find yourself a new coat. Otherwise everyone will see what you have.”

  He nodded. Something wasn’t right with him. I would have liked to ask him why he wanted to remain there. But he surely didn’t want to say anything.

  In the meantime it had become bright day. We lay down in the barn. I had to yawn and felt quite exhausted. On top of that I couldn’t sleep. How repulsive everything was!

  Suddenly I shivered. Had the lieutenant infected me?

  ——————————

  I jerked up. Someone half lay on me and I had to go out and in a hurry. I moved him back and crawled outside. Outside the sun was shining. In the yard the field kitchen was smoking. I walked around the house into the garden.

  I had a bad case of diarrhea.

  As I stood up I felt light, but also somewhat weak. I went back inside.

  A farm wagon stood on the road. Boehm led our lieutenant, whose face appeared old and feverish, and helped him into the wagon.

  “Greetings to the homeland!” called Boehm.

  Fabian shook his hand and looked at me sadly. The wagon moved off.

  Retreat

  “Finish up! The company forms in one half hour!”

  We marched again toward the front. I wondered at how indifferent I was to where we marched. The sun burned down.

  We moved to the left in the forest. Ahead of us climbed a pretty significant rise.

  Boehm called the platoon leaders.

  “We belong to the rear guard and have the assignment along with our machine gun company and a detachment of artillery to hold up the French. No one but the sentries may show themselves up on the rise.”

  “Is the field kitchen coming forward?” asked Ernst.

  “No, it has already moved out with the supply column.”

  I felt exhausted and lay down under a tree. It was wonderfully quiet. Only some flies hummed. It smelled of fresh resin. The sky between the fir trees was deep blue and sparkling. We had just such a sky at home on our mountain.

  What if the French were to come unsuspecting along the road? I looked forward to it and went to sleep.

  ——————————

  I woke up lying in the forest. The sun already shone at an angle. A strong feeling of hunger drove me up. I wondered that I saw no one around me.

  They had moved to the side and sat in the shade of a group of trees listening to the lieutenant.

  “I don’t like it that the French can follow after us as if they were victorious. The dogs are so cowardly that they still aren’t here yet. They are probably smelling under every bush to see if a German soldier is sitting under it.”

  From above came one of the men, breathless. “Herr Leutnant, they’re coming along the road!”

  “Occupy the rise! However, don’t shoot until they are within a hundred meters of us!”

  We walked, spread out, up the rise. The forest stretched over the other side of the rise another twenty paces. To the right, on the road, came the French point, a small clump of people.

  Brrrrrrrrrap! On the other side of the road one of our machine guns began shooting.

  The French took cover in the ditches.

  Zoom! Zoom! It went over us from behind and struck somewhere in the forest.

  To the right rattled a number of machine guns mixed with irregular rifle fire. For us the situation was that our view farther to the front was blocked by a low, wooded rise.

  On the right the shooting stopped. Only the artillery was shooting.

  We waited. On the right a machine gun began firing, but soon broke off. Our artillery had also stopped firing.

  Sch! S! S! S! One came from forward and roared to the rear.

  Wham! Ka-Bam! It landed behind us in the ground.

  SsSsSsSsSs! It went over on the right.

  “Psst!” said Ziesche.

  To the left I saw three men come out of the forest. They came slowly toward our rise.

  Wham! It crashed behind us in the forest. Had they already discovered us?

  Wham! Whirrrr! The shell appeared to have exploded in the crown of a tree.

  From the forest came about ten men, scattered unevenly, followed by more.

  “Everyone take one man in your sight and remove the safety!” called Ernst softly. We passed the order along in a whisper.

  Whoosh! Whoosh! Came our artillery again from behind us, but this time it appeared to me to be from farther back.

  I set my sight on one of them, who slowly appeared with his rifle under his arm.

  “Individual fire!” screamed Boehm shrilly.

  I squeezed the trigger. The fire rattled. My man was down. A couple still ran and threw themselves down. I shot at the next man to the right.

  There was noise of heavy crashes. But in the forest it echoed too strongly to be able to differentiate.

  Zing! Zing! A couple of bullets whined over us. Our machine guns rattled. I saw Hartmann off to the right shooting, loading, and shooting again. He appeared to be in a fever.

  “Shoot more calmly!” yelled Ernst.

  The noise settled down somewhat. It appeared to me that the German batteries weren’t firing anymore. I couldn’t hear machine guns anymore either.

  “Fall back!” came the call from the left down the line.

  The rifle fire ceased. Behind us shells crashed. We stood up and went down the slope.

  Wham! To the right of me dirt flew up and a black cloud stood beside a bush.

  Whack! To the left one flew into the ground somewhat closer.

  Ka-wham! One ripped half way up into a tree. The crown tipped over and fell into the lower branches. Two men ran hurri
edly by. Should we run also? Hartmann came close to me.

  Whack! It went into the ground.

  “Now, go!” I said and took off running around a couple of trees.

  Wham! One landed to the left and threw dirt all around.

  It became more open, only a couple more bushes.

  Ka-boom! To the right behind us.

  We were through. I stopped running and looked around me. They were still running behind me. Ziesche was missing. No, there he came from behind a bush, fairly slowly and looking continually from left to right.

  “Why are you running, then?” He called. “You almost ran into it.”

  I turned around. Everyone looked at me. It was crazy to run. I hated myself.

  “Keep a look out, Renn!” called Ernst. I pulled myself together. He gave the signal to assemble.

  The French fired again at different places in the forest. We marched to the rear around a bend in the road. In the twilight I could see that our whole battalion had been there, maybe others also. It became quiet.

  Our march began with stop and go. Ahead of us was a battery. The rear wagon clanked of iron. The moonlight lay on the dark boxes from which some kind of poles stuck out. I felt miserable and wretched.

  We came to the village again where we had the argument with the captain. The next village came and shortly lay behind.—Were we going to have to make the whole march back that we made in the beginning?

  We halted one, two times.

  The moon went down. It became completely dark.

  And then it began slowly to grow light again. The sky had changed. Ahead of us lay a wide, bare area. The grass in the meadows was brown, kind of red. It became oppressively sultry.

  We halted. I lay down on my pack. On both sides of the road they were squatting. They had nothing in their stomachs. It appeared that for me, the diarrhea had passed on. The sky dazzled me and I shut my eyes.

  Suddenly someone pulled at my sleeve. I looked into the pale face of Weiss with its completely exhausted eyes. I sprang up, startled. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “My arm hurts so and the pack presses so.”

  Yes, Weiss was very delicate.

  “But how should I help you?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered pitifully.

  “Wait a moment,” I said. It was hard for me to get up. I went to Ernst.

  “Herr Feldwebel, Weiss has a ricochet wound on his arm, but he wanted to stay with the company. But now he can’t make it any more. Could he not at least ride a while on a cannon?”

  “I already know,” replied Ernst. “I will tell it to the lieutenant.”

  As I returned to him, Weiss sat on the side of the road. He trembled and tried not to let me see it.

  I said to him: “Have no fear. We’ll be there soon.” But I didn’t believe it myself. “Then I’ll take a look at your arm.” But I had no idea what one could do for an arm like that.

  Boehm went forward to the artillery and then got Weiss and some others who weren’t able to keep going.

  We continued marching. Along the side of the road lay entrenching tools, telephone packs, side arms, but no sick from the march, because anyone who remained behind would come into captivity.

  Around nine o’clock in the morning we came to a village. We were supposed to stay there. The field kitchen was there and was piled high with bread.

  The adjutant came riding at a sharp gallop: “Move out at once in this direction!” He pointed in the direction from which we had just come.

  “Damn it!”

  “They can’t drag us here and there like young dogs!”

  “Silence!” bellowed Boehm.

  “Herr Leutnant!” said a noncommissioned officer. “That’s not possible.”

  “We’re at war! No consideration can be shown!”

  We marched forward again and took up position in a flat hollow. Boehm took the platoon leaders forward and assigned the sections. We spread out and entrenched in the sandy soil. I soon had a hole dug large enough to lie down in. Then I gave my entrenching tool to the man on the left, who had thrown his away the day before because it was so heavy and the handle bumped against his knee.

  The field kitchen came up behind us in the depression. They had four horses harnessed in order to move the heavy load in the sandy soil, and they drove them on with calls and cracks of the whip.

  We assembled to receive chow.

  Boehm ordered them to feed again in three to four hours.

  I went to Weiss even though it was hard for me to move and I was dead tired. He had found himself a new jacket, which hung loosely on his thin body. I helped him to remove the jacket. The bandage was in the same place, but had bunched up and must have been pressing. I unwrapped it. The packet was stuck to the wound with blood. I tried carefully to remove it. However, he grabbed it and ripped it off. The stripe was already healed up. However, the muscle was swollen and appeared blue.

  “Is that dangerous?” I asked him.

  He squinted down: “That is completely safe, but it hurts terribly.”

  “Come!” I said. “Now we’ll put your jacket back on and then we’ll sleep over in my hole.”

  I heard Boehm speaking with Ernst: “The new rear guard is still ahead of us. We don’t need to take any special precautions.”

  I laid the ground sheet down in the hole because the sand was damp. Our hole was narrow for two. I suddenly began to shiver. Weiss was shivering, most likely from overexertion.

  “Lean over on me so that your arm is completely free!”

  I pulled the cover around some. Then I was conscious of nothing more.

  ——————————

  “Company, get ready!”

  Heavy thunder of cannons.

  Wham! A shell impacted maybe two hundred meters away from us. It appeared to me as if they had been firing already for some time. The sky appeared terribly black with a pale gloss.

  I stood up. Weiss was still sleeping. How pale he looked. I was sorry to wake him. I grabbed him on the leg.

  He puffed and looked suddenly around.

  “How’s it going with you now?” I asked.

  He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and smiled: “Good.”

  “What a child he is!” I thought.

  A shell landed very close. Afterwards I could have looked around, but didn’t do it. The cannon roared. Or was that thunder? A gust of wind swept clouds of dust across the area.

  We fell in to the rear and marched off. Behind us, the cannons thundered. From the right, a wind blew dust and hail into our faces. The grain swayed in the fields.

  Boehm went ahead of us with his head held at a slant and said: “At least one will get clean. It’s just too bad that you can’t smoke in the process!”

  The wind came with a blast, one moment with heavy water drops, the next with hail. The water ran along one’s rifle and dripped from your helmet down your neck.

  Sainte Marie-La Benoite

  I don’t know how many days we marched. I absolutely cannot remember details of these marches. We all became silent. It rained day in and day out. During the nights we froze in our wet clothes. Our third battalion was committed and came again in the night with few men and no officers. I dared not think when it would happen to us also. But I secretly thought about it. We continued farther and farther behind the front toward the north.

  One afternoon I was squatting beside Hartmann behind a house. We couldn’t get up next to the wall because stinging nettles were growing there.

  “Ludwig,” said Hartmann, “do you know my fiancée?”

  “No.” I don’t know how it came to me in that moment. I thought, “He is the best formed man in the company. He just appears too morose.”

  “If something happens to me,” he looked between his knees at the ground, “you have to write her about it.” He was agitated and didn’t want to show it. “My parents wanted nothing to do with her—and hers nothing to do with me.” He took a piece of newspaper from his po
cket, tore it and wiped himself. He did it so dreadfully careful. What should I say?

  “Her name is Hanna Seiler and she lives in the Adolfistrasse 31.”

  We stood up and went inside the house. He cleaned his rifle. I shaved in order not to do the same thing he was.

  Weiss had taken off his jacket and shirt and was washing himself. His upper arm muscle shimmered with all colors.

  “What was the reason you didn’t want to go to the field hospital back then?” I asked.

  “I know what it’s like in a field hospital on the march. It is better with the company where at least someone worries about you.”

  “There’s mail!” screamed someone in front of the house.

  Ziesche walked outside.

  He brought a letter for me and laid it on my pack. It was my mother’s handwriting. I wanted to first finish shaving and washing.

  Ernst looked in the door. “Finish up immediately!” He disappeared again.

  We threw our things in our packs. I put the letter in also.

  They were already forming up in the street.

  “We are being moved up to Sainte Mari,” said Boehm. “What we should do there, I have no idea!”

  We moved over a wide stretch of meadow in the forest. In the meantime it began to grow dark.

  We halted and sat in the ditches by the road. Soon some were asleep. I was wide awake. What should I do with the stupid telegraph pole ahead of me? If there was only something that could hide one’s fear. Yeah, get drunk!—If one just had something. But no, I would not go into battle drunk. My head swam at the thought.— If one just knew how long it would be and if one knew the area in which one should attack!

  “The lieutenant is to come forward to the battalion commander.”

  Boehm stood up and went.

  ——————————

  I woke up. My legs were lying with my boots somewhat too elevated and numb. I had slid completely into the ditch. My knees were painful. My rear end had become wet.

  I was too awake to be able to go back to sleep again. The thought of smoking or getting something to eat made me queasy. To attack again served no purpose.—Why did I have to walk into the fire again? The others meant nothing to me—no, the company yes, but not the other companies. They could attack, but not us again. Has it not been enough?